Tonite's episode brought to you by Carley's delicious breasts. Yummy.

Back in British Columbia, I keep hoping FARC show up. Kenny rags on his allies in a show of endearment. He says Teresa could still be a prostitute in Wisconsin. Is he insulting Teresa... or the state of Wisconsin?

Ev is alone and grouchy. She is pissed that her Fresh Meat partner Luke isn't also grouchy and moody.

Landon attempts to scheme with Ev and later with Kenny. It's pretty painful to watch, because Landon isn't a Machiavellian type. Landon attempts an important quote: “It's live or die.” That's just a tautology.

Jen wants to win. Big whoop. No one troops out to this thing purposefully to finish third while tied to Casey with a red rope.

This next portion of the episode summary is sponsored brought by Carley's ample bosom.

Challenge time. It's one partner (the boy) making the famed totems from the Blair Witch Project out of styrofoam rocks. The second partner (the girl) swings above by the ankles like a pendulum. She needs to be pushed out into a wider circle so a not to crash into built totem.
Kenny & Laurel go first, and are mediocre. Jill & Peter go second, and Jill pukes after all the swinging. Jen & Noor go third, and prove to be the fastest. Ryan & Teresa go fourth, and there is finally lots of crashing. Ev & Luke go fifth, and they also give us lots of crashing, Ev is pissed that they didn't win.
Landon & Carley go last, and I cannot help but put on my red and blue glasses so I can see Carley's boobs swing at me in 3-D. It's sort of scary and arousing at the same time.

Is Carley wearing a brass knuckles necklace in her confessionals? I can't focus long enough to make it out because my eyes drift down to her cleavage.

Ryan with a lame quote of the night: “Every time Ev loses a challenge an angel gets it wings.”

Landon tries to cut a deal with Ryan after the challenge, and his political skills are still weak. But even weaker is the cinematography... I did not need to see Landon's package, thanks BMP. Next time, focus on Carley's nipples.

Jen & Noor select Ev & Luke to go to Exile. The mob, complete with Oscar the Grouch, Bruce Villanch, and some blonde bimbo triplets, vote in Landon & Carley. Super secret twist! It's an immediate night time Exile. Carley is nervous it's cold and dark outside. It's OK honey, don't be scared. We can cuddle later in the depth of the night while I motorboat. Ev preps for the exile by sprinting on the deck, and then loudly huffing and puffin. (?)

Kenny, in the sore previous moments portion of the show offers this nugget about Ev: “I hope you fall out of the van and split your head open and die.” He's like a Blue Mountain card.

The Exile is sponsored by Carley's magnificent knockers. “Thank you, doctor!”

The two teams head out. It's the bucket challenge at night. Landon & Carley take an early lead. Ev and Luke struggle at points. Then Carley is collapsing and laughing. Landon does the marble maze puzzle single handed. Ev wants to skip it, Luke channels his inner Ronnie: he wants “one shot, one shot.” They skip it to shoot ahead of Landon & Carley. Ev & Luke cross the finish line first, but Landon& Carley will have 5 minutes deducted for completing the marble maze puzzle. A cliffhanger until next week.

Tune in two weeks from now and miss next weeks Fresh Meat II!

( o ) ( o ) <--- For you. (Those are not Ramona's eyes.)