She does go outside in the evening. She and all of her neighborhood cat buddies sit at the end or their respective driveways and look suspiciously at each other. Occasionally one of them will saunter over toward the other, but nobody leaves the street and enters the property. It's an unwritten rule, because cats can't read.

my black cat (had her since a kitten) literally still flinches when you mention the ginger's name - which is actually kinda funny.
the minute the ex and satan moved out, we both breathed a respective sigh of pure relief.

I've decided to take out my frustration on the cat himself. Whenever he is trying to rest now, I just bug the shit out of him by rubbing his fur the wrong way, singing loudly in his face, and making him dance.

It's better than a head squishing and almost as satisfying.

imagine in a mel gibson voice,
"okay, you want attention? here it is! HUG HUG HUG, PET PET PET, SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH... wait, you want to get away now? no, i still want to love love love you! smoochies!"

it works for about 3 hours.

so yeah, your passive aggresion could be just the ticket.
and if your loud-mouth doesn't know this song and dance, he should!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpA2tMrQ4RU
i say sexy thangs to myself when i'm dahncing!

>ok, before you get all animal rights on me, let me
>explain....
>
>my parents are animal lovers, but the only animal allowed in
>the house is the dog. my dad thinks the cats will run away
>at some point if they are let outside, so doesn't see the
>point in having them as indoor pets, getting them fixed or
>taking them to the vet. he gives them names and feeds them
>and talks to them, but that's as far as he'll go. so they
>had this male tomcat, who dad named "big red" who was the
>unfriendliest thing ever. but dad still fed him, made up
>little beds for him (and the other two female cats that hung
>around) in the garage in the winter, etc., etc.
>
>then one day this summer, my husband and i were home
>visiting when i look outside and see big red on the deck,
>crouched down and meowing like crazy. i went outside to get
>a closer look and i see that big red had somehow gotten
>himself into a skirmish and was missing his bottom jaw.
>damn did i feel bad for him. i mean, what could have done
>that. parents thought it was coyotes or something. anyway,
>he just sat there, drooling and meowing. we tried
>everything we could but he couldn't eat, and there was
>nothing we could do. he was starving to death, which was
>way worse than what dad eventually did after a couple of
>days - which was shoot him.
>
>if ever an orange cat deserved to meow constantly, it was
>big red, i tell ya. just be glad yours is meowing for
>something other than a missing jaw!

But yes. In the same way that red-headed people have a lower pain thresholds, orange cats tend to have a few dots missing from their dice....if you catch my drift.

Fucking gingers.

or, come up with some advice I can actually use.

I suggest you get to work!

I believe my advice was implicit. Get out the flip-cam and turn that orange cat into a YouTube sensation.

And all day long you're feeding baby, holding baby, rocking baby, changing baby & the fucking cat won't shut up; let me in, let me out, feed me, let me in, let me out.

You threaten to get rid of the cat. Husband says if cat goes, he goes. You consider your options. You need husband to watch the baby when he comes home every evening so you can finally take a shower.

Cat stays.

The End.

Maybe my baby will be deaf. (I'm JUST KIDDING! I MEAN IT!)

I may have some valuable advice to share on the STFUing of a cat.

Ping Pong was welcomed into our crazy-cat-couple home last Saturday. Everyday since, she screams at us every time we move...especially when she thinks she might be fed (which is evidently...every time we move.)

She's a Siamese and we narrowed in on this breed for a reason. We knew she'd be chatty, attentive and much more intense than our previous pillow of a cat. We love her. She's affectionate and smart and silly. But the early morning screaming is frightening. She's a delicate, graceful creature but fuck me in the ear, the noises she makes sound like an exorcism.

I've done some (early morning) research this week and here are the most helpful and realistic suggestions:

1) Get kitty on a strict feeding schedule (Ping is responding to this very well. Last night she only chirped when I dared to move in my own bed and woke her.)

2) Buy Feliway spray and/or the Feliway diffuser. This is synthetic cat pheromones that are supposed to help the cat chill the fuck out. I haven't tried this yet but I might if #3 doesn't work out.

3) Get an autofeeder! Genius! Mine is on the way and I will be able to program up to 8 different feeding times which will *hopefully* help her no longer associate us with food.

4) Apparently there is something out there called "bach flower" which you can sprinkle in their food to calm them down.

5) Get another cat. I believe you already have a few? This certainly would not work with us as I would want my cats to match. Thusly, this suggestion might result in two Siamese screaming at my husband and me whenever we try to navigate our 720sf condo. Um, no.

I will report back with further progress!

Or just PM me so I don't embarrass myself any further!

and the one apparently is just a little monkey in a cat suit

(that's a great pic! I've never had a cat that doesn't then charge at the camera, even if they seem to be asleep, when I try and get that close for a pic).

Ping Pong has taken to it like a champ! She now knows that food comes from the magic wizard bowl downstairs....not daddy and me. Instead of screaming like a maniac, she silently scurries toward the sound of the food pellets plinking into her bowl.

In other news, she is yelling at us much less and settling in quite nicely. She sleeps with us (because that's the kind of couple we are) and has been bringing her toys to bed in the middle of the night. I don't know if she expects us to play or if the toys are an offering of gratitude for her autofeeder. But this morning, I woke up with one of her toy mice tangled in my hair.

I love her.