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droogie click here to view user rating
Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
187 posts (Mulie-Mouthed), 16 feedbacks, 32 points
17-Aug-10, 08:37 AM (PST)
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"dearest planet pyramid scheme"
 
has anyone heard of these cprime bracelets that are supposed to increase your strength, balance, and flexibility through the use of some magic magnets or some such?

a bunch of athletes are wearing them now and you can't swing a bottle of snake oil in my town without hitting some doucher who is a distributor.

i am a skeptic of the very highest order and assumed it was a hoax and a multi-level marketing pyramid scheme, but i wondered if anyone else had seen these.


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BoyBlunder click here to view user rating
Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
1083 posts (Anxiously awaiting another bodily function thread), 32 feedbacks, 50 points
17-Aug-10, 08:48 AM (PST)
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1. "I love those!!"
In response to message #0
 
>has anyone heard of these cprime bracelets that are supposed
>to increase your strength, balance, and flexibility through
>the use of some magic magnets or some such?

Yeah, my mage got one and it really helped his stats. He was able to defeat an Elite Boss using those bracelets. You are talking about "World of Warcraft", right?

>i am a skeptic of the very highest order and assumed it was
>a hoax and a multi-level marketing pyramid scheme, but i
>wondered if anyone else had seen these.

I've heard of magnets supposing to improve your health and while I haven't heard anything specific, I call bullshit. It's one of those theories that's almost impossible to prove/disprove so it reeks of schnanigans.


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Finn click here to view user rating
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409 posts (Welcome addition at first but now tiresome), 20 feedbacks, 26 points
17-Aug-10, 08:52 AM (PST)
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2. "No, but"
In response to message #0
 
it sounds like something my stupid-ass Monavie-swigging ex boss would buy.


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QueenMaeve click here to view user rating
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714 posts (Asshat Attention Whore), 19 feedbacks, 26 points
17-Aug-10, 08:58 AM (PST)
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3. "a sham"
In response to message #0
 
   Apparently they are very weak magnets, so it is questionable whether they do anything except increase the profits of companies selling them. I suspect that people perceive performance increases because they believe they work. Just like a voodoo curse. If you believe you are cursed, bad things happen to you.

Still, if you do use them, stay away from your computer lest you erase your hard drive.

And if you use them, stay away from me as I believe my body already has a natural magnetic field and it doesn't need ot be disrupted by your delusions.


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Charles_in_Charge click here to view user rating
Potent Swollen Member since 18-Sep-03
432 posts (Welcome addition at first but now tiresome), 21 feedbacks, 34 points
17-Aug-10, 10:40 AM (PST)
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4. "My uncle"
In response to message #0
 
   is one of those hawking these. He reached out to my father, my brother and I.

I do not remember the brand name. But I think there were not only bracelets, but a whole line of things to wear. Necklace/chains... bracelets... something you can wrap around your stomach and back, something else you can wrap around your knee or elbow...

And the pitch I heard was not a general helping of strength, balance, and flexibility, but a very specific, "This will help with your arthritis, by wearing these magnets near those bad joints."


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expatter
Potent Swollen Member since 20-Sep-04
280 posts (Yackity Motherfucker)
17-Aug-10, 11:01 AM (PST)
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6. "Magnets"
In response to message #4
 
Haven't these things been around for years? I remember my mom wearing them in the seventies. She has severe rheumatoid arthritis, and will try everything: magnets, copper bracelets, honey and cider vinegar, dandelion juice at midnight (I kid you not). The year I was graduating with a BSN degree she made me wear a nylon full of hot salt around my neck for a sore throat, since it would "draw out the badness". It was easier to go along with her and put up with salt down my bra. Maybe these magnet things are enjoying a resurgence, kind of like the yo-yo does from time to time.


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droogie click here to view user rating
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17-Aug-10, 10:54 AM (PST)
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5. "scam"
In response to message #0
 
quite a few of the other dads from my son's various sports teams sell these things and i always tell them that they're bullshit.

one particularly loathsome dude actually quit his online marketing job to do this full time. he posts shit about them on facebook constantly, so i put up a passive aggressive status update saying that they were a hoax and a pyramid scheme.

he wrote me an angry response within 10 minutes and we had a spirited back and forth.

pt barnum was right, dudes.


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Lurker no more click here to view user rating
Potent Swollen Member since 15-Aug-08
876 posts (Practice makes perfect!), 26 feedbacks, 42 points
17-Aug-10, 12:39 PM (PST)
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7. "Those don't work at all, nope."
In response to message #0
 
Not unless you use them with the amazing foot patch! Medical technology from China - they're the ones that invented acupuncture, y'know.

http://www.deityusa.com/product.php?productid=16140


One piece of Sticker can discharge the toxin, it take one night only, the greasy toxin can be flowed out from the bottom of foot!

Major functions:

*Discharge Toxin and Improve Beauty
*Relax Muscles and Remove Rheumatism
*Nourish Yin Deficiency and Strengthen Kidney
*Shape and Beautify Body
*Soothe Sleep and Relieve Fatigue
*Enhance Foot and Deodorize

That black stuff on the bottom of your foot/sticky pad isn't dirt. No, not at all. It's toxins and muscle stress and insomnia and such. Wear this together with those magnets and you'll wake up feeling like this:

Amazing, isn't it? Maybe we could put this on the feet of all the scary Muslims and Mexicans. Maybe if we get enough toxins out of them they'll be more like the white, Christian rest of us and we won't have to be so scared and fucking intolerant anymore.

Like expatter, I remember seeing these around before. An old friend used them to help with his diabetes about 10 or 12 years ago. I think he gave them a week and decided they were bullshit. I thought they had been exposed as a hoax and disappeared.


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gobanana click here to view user rating
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3781 posts (Wasted life), 61 feedbacks, 102 points
17-Aug-10, 05:11 PM (PST)
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8. "'Toxins' are bullshit"
In response to message #7
 
People who talk about toxins are dumbys. You don't need a cayenne/lemon 10-day cleanse to rid your body of toxins. The kidneys and other organs to that just fine. And, contrary to stupid gym instructors, you don't "sweat out toxins." And, of course, they don't come off with adhesive ...


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eatme click here to view user rating
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18-Aug-10, 09:51 PM (PST)
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12. "now you tell me"
In response to message #8
 
   i've been wrapping myself in duct tape every night to get rid of toxins, and was starting to feel better. but now i just feel sticky.


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HotBranch click here to view user rating
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19-Aug-10, 05:25 AM (PST)
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13. "Not to worry"
In response to message #12
 
Duct tape is the new brazilian.


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pipes click here to view user rating
Potent Swollen Member since 31-Dec-02
567 posts (I don't cut anymore. Now I post.), 9 feedbacks, 18 points
17-Aug-10, 08:27 PM (PST)
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9. "Don't magnets work better. . ."
In response to message #0
 
   When you wear an aluminum foil hat? I've heard the healthy rays from the magnets go up into your head, hit the foil and go back down picking up pains they missed the first time. Or something like that.


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droogie click here to view user rating
Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
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18-Aug-10, 06:28 AM (PST)
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10. "problem solved"
In response to message #0
 
i slept while pinned to my fridge with a bunch of kids' magnets and i feel much better this morning.


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shampoo click here to view user rating
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18-Aug-10, 02:03 PM (PST)
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11. "alternative method"
In response to message #0
 
Look up, point your fist to the sky, and shout, "Mighty Isis!" That's how you get your power back.


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