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Lurker no more

Potent Swollen Member since 15-Aug-08
857 posts (Practice makes perfect!), 26 feedbacks, 42 points

13-Jul-10, 02:09 PM (PST)

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"Do it yourself dildo kit"

LAST EDITED ON 13-Jul-10 AT 02:13 PM (PST)

There are now kits out there, gaining in popularity, that allow you to make a sex toy replica of your own junk. It includes a mold, amalgam molding material (the stuff dentists use to make molds out of teeth (plaster of paris heats up when it cures (ouchie))) and latex you pour in to the completed mold to make the actual sex toy.

I’m thinking of getting one. Not because Mrs. Lurker needs one (she has an all access pass). No, I believe I’d like one just to whap stupid people across their stupid faces with.

For example:
“Hey, can do you have time to price this up for me?”
“No, I’ll be in meetings for the rest of the day and I’m taking a customer out tonight.”
“Oh. So, can I get a price from you by 4:30 this afternoon?
WHAP!
“GAH! MY FACE!”

And scene.

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Well aren't you cute?, CNormGo, 13-Jul-10, 02:53 PM, (1)
- Ouch!, HotBranch, 13-Jul-10, 03:53 PM, (2)
  - Well, not really., Lurker no more, 13-Jul-10, 04:29 PM, (3)
Not new, bonzo, 13-Jul-10, 11:21 PM, (4)
Gave one to my girlfriend, gobanana, 14-Jul-10, 06:19 AM, (5)
- But did she...., HotBranch, 14-Jul-10, 01:36 PM, (6)
dildos and hair extensions, shampoo, 14-Jul-10, 02:01 PM, (7)
plaster caster, Marion, 15-Jul-10, 06:29 PM, (8)
- Really?, HotBranch, 16-Jul-10, 05:38 AM, (9)
  - very classy, Marion, 16-Jul-10, 06:30 AM, (10)
    - Is this what Kiss was singing about?, gobanana, 16-Jul-10, 07:56 AM, (11)
      - yes, Marion, 16-Jul-10, 06:43 PM, (12)

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CNormGo
Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
2369 posts (Wasted life)

13-Jul-10, 02:53 PM (PST)

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1. "Well aren't you cute?"
In response to message #0

I’m thinking of getting one. Not because Mrs. Lurker needs one (she has an all access pass).

I'm guessing a man invented this. Only a man would find out a way to force women* into yet another scenario where we have to make him feel better about his wee wee.

Him: Honey, great news! They have this kit, and I can make a mold of my penis and that way when I'm out of town, you can still have me!

Her: Oh! Well...um...that's super, honey! I guess I can throw away that other stuff now. Yeah, that ginormous one in my drawer is no good, anyway. I'd much rather have a replica of yours.

*I didn't include gay men in this scenario because as a group, I envision them to be less coddling in this area than women are.

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HotBranch

Potent Swollen Member since 13-Sep-04
1520 posts (Wasted life), 62 feedbacks, 114 points

13-Jul-10, 03:53 PM (PST)

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2. "Ouch!"
In response to message #1

I know someone who's lost her board crush status and isn't getting an extra special secret Santa gift this year...

You made lurker cry...

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Lurker no more

Potent Swollen Member since 15-Aug-08
857 posts (Practice makes perfect!), 26 feedbacks, 42 points

13-Jul-10, 04:29 PM (PST)

3. "Well, not really."
In response to message #2

If you read both posts, she's making fun of guys for doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do. I'd only use it for violent revenge purposes. Plus she called me cute. Just for that I'll give the inventor a crack across the face for her.

"Excuse me, are you the guy who invented the do-it-yourself dildo?"
"Yes."
"This is from CNorm." CRACK!
"GAH! My face!"

And scene.

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bonzo
Potent Swollen Member since 14-Aug-04
211 posts (Yackity Motherfucker)

13-Jul-10, 11:21 PM (PST)

4. "Not new"
In response to message #0

Got a crazy book ("Working Stiff" by Grant Stoddard) from the bargain bin a few years back, memoir written by a guy who wrote a column for Nerve about experimenting with all kinds of sexual stuff. He tries an orgy, a dungeon, a porn shoot, going to a naked gay bridge game, etc.

The last thing he does for the column is make a do-it-yourself dildo (he talks about the difficulty keeping it up for the few minutes it takes to set the mold). He then allows a willing female friend to strap it on, lube it up, and do him with it. Or at least he makes it clear that's what happened, and I for one didn't want a detailed blow by blow.

If you have one of these, you can literally go fuck yourself.

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gobanana

Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
3725 posts (Wasted life), 61 feedbacks, 102 points

14-Jul-10, 06:19 AM (PST)

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5. "Gave one to my girlfriend"
In response to message #0

She said, "This is nice, but does it come in black?"

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HotBranch

Potent Swollen Member since 13-Sep-04
1520 posts (Wasted life), 62 feedbacks, 114 points

14-Jul-10, 01:36 PM (PST)

6. "But did she...."
In response to message #5

Make one of her stump for you?

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shampoo

Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
2296 posts (Wasted life), 63 feedbacks, 108 points

14-Jul-10, 02:01 PM (PST)

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7. "dildos and hair extensions"
In response to message #0

I don't use either because then going back to the natural way might be disappointing.

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Marion

Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
129 posts (Total Gasbag), 3 feedbacks, 2 points

15-Jul-10, 06:29 PM (PST)

8. "plaster caster"
In response to message #0

Am I the only one who remembers these 70's groupies taking their "collection" on the road? They had plaster casts of all these rock stars including Jimi Hendrix.

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HotBranch

Potent Swollen Member since 13-Sep-04
1520 posts (Wasted life), 62 feedbacks, 114 points

16-Jul-10, 05:38 AM (PST)

9. "Really?"
In response to message #8

>all these rock stars including Jimi Hendrix.

Glue a fret board onto that bad boy and that'd be the most memorable guitar neck ever.

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Marion

Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
129 posts (Total Gasbag), 3 feedbacks, 2 points

16-Jul-10, 06:30 AM (PST)

10. "very classy"
In response to message #9

Here's a link to her very classy website

http://www.cynthiaplastercaster.com/

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gobanana

Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
3725 posts (Wasted life), 61 feedbacks, 102 points

16-Jul-10, 07:56 AM (PST)

11. "Is this what Kiss was singing about?"
In response to message #10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP7o3e_37Gc

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Marion

Old Decrepit Shriveled Member
129 posts (Total Gasbag), 3 feedbacks, 2 points

16-Jul-10, 06:43 PM (PST)

12. "yes"
In response to message #11

I especially like the line "if you want to see my love, just ask her." "ask her" and "caster" don't exactly rhyme, but it made us giggle in junior high.

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