The article said he suffered liver damage. Though let's face it, with his genes liver damage is probably inevitable.

What woman would carry Puck's spawn for nine months? And where was Sarah Palin in all this?

As I value the life of the deer more than the life of Puck, I think swerving was the right move here. Sorry about the kid, though. Not his fault his dad is a total douche.

Up ahead on the left side of the road is a tea party full of people taunting and throwing dollar bills at a disabled vet.

Across the street on the right are Rush, Beck, Palin, Coulter, O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, Dick Cheney, and assorted others smoking cigars and washing each other's balls.

Coming up the road towards you is a bus full of the cast members of Jersey Shore and, oh... lets say Ke$ha.

Parachuting in from above are the various cast members of this season's AR. You can clearly see the "Iraq Such As" bitch is in first place. You notice a red and yellow clue box in a parking lot just past the tea party.

In the passenger seat of your car is the original signed copy of the health care reform bill. In the back seat is Lady Gaga wearing bubble wrap and foil. Your hands are slippery from snacking on bacon while you drive.

Just as you all arrive in the same place, a deer runs out in front of your car. OnStar interrupts its existential conversation and yells "DANGER! DEER IN THE ROAD!"

What do you do?

edited to fix spelling